Full Moon Message

Observing Ourselves to See the Pattern of Hiding and Avoiding

Mar 7, 2023

Why can’t we be relaxed, calm, and natural? Why is it that discomfort or pain creep in and take over so easily? Why can’t we just be?

The process of finding out the real cause is not easy because the roots are likely to be things that are hiding somewhere very deep and it might take some effort to dig them out. The reason they have been pushed into such a place is because we don’t want to face them.

Why would we even want to do that? It is human nature. We pursue what makes us feel good and avoid what can cause unpleasant feelings or pain. It is part of our survival instinct of avoiding harm.

As you can imagine, digging out what we have pushed down will not be an easy process. It is as though we are ripping off the scab to expose the wound. The pain will come back and be felt again. It takes courage to face and go through this pain.

The pattern of Avoiding and Hiding is formed to aid our effort to find a safe place to hide the things we don’t want to face. It employs many ingenious strategies and often acts in a way that is difficult to detect – all so we can pretend or delude ourselves into believing that they don’t exist. It takes honesty to see what we don’t want to see.

There are a few places where you can start to identify the activity of this pattern.

You can observe how you live your daily life. Do you panic when you are not busy? Do you always have to be doing something? Is it difficult to be alone? Do you have fear of being ignored or excluded? Do you seek attention? Do you avoid being with yourself and facing yourself? Or, do you feel anxious when you are with people you are unfamiliar with? Do you feel it is safer to be alone? If your answer is yes to any of these questions, what are you trying to run away from?

You can observe your discomfort or pain. When you feel angry, for example, ask yourself: “What is hiding behind this anger? What is my anger trying to cover up or divert my attention from? Is it shame? Guilt? Greed? Who is angry, my false self or my True Self? Is my false self not getting what it thinks it deserves?”.

You can also observe how you react when you think your faults or weaknesses are exposed or will be in a future scenario. Do you feel stupid? Do you feel ashamed or embarrassed? Do you feel nervous or anxious? Do you feel sorry for yourself? Do you feel the need to defend yourself? Do you try to find an excuse or justification? Do you try to divert your own or other people’s attention? Do you try to paint a different picture to cover up? Do you try to please others in an attempt to control how they see you? Are you afraid that people won’t like you?

Start observing how you lose the relaxed and calm state and identify what is behind that change. Once you have found what you have pushed down, try to understand and transform it with your heart, with your unconditional trust, openness, love, gratitude, and Gongjing. This is also where you access the courage and honesty you need. When you are able to face yourself this way, you will see that there will no longer be the need to avoid and hide from yourself. The only way forward is fully accepting and embracing the whole of your life, every part of it.

Yuan Tze


Experience this message on Transforming the Pattern of Avoiding and Hiding as a meditation on REN XUE TV

Read

Latest Full Moon Message – Identification with the Body

Our work on identification is ultimately to establish our true identify, that is, the identification with the True Self. This takes place when the True Self can function consistently. Before this happens, the false self is in charge of life. So we can say this shift...

Yuan Tze’s New Year Message 2024

Dear Ren Xue family, Time continues to flow! The earth has just completed another circle around the sun, bringing us to the start of a new year. 2023 has not been an easy year for the world, and may not have been for many of us. But here we are, reading this message...

Yuan Tze on the Causes of Conflict and How to Move Beyond it

Dear Ren Xue family, I am aware that some of you are having a hard time watching the world going through upheavals. Many people are suffering unimaginable pain and even loss of life. I understand that this is the time we can easily fall into despair and question our...

Yuan Tze on Anger

Harmony is a state of peace and balance, a state free of conflict. Harmony nurtures growth. When harmony is present, no harm is done. I would like to focus on one thing that often disrupts harmony – anger, in particular anger in reaction to injustice. When facing...

Yuan Tze’s New Year Message 2023

Dear Ren Xue family, In this time of celebrating a new beginning, I would like to extend my best wishes to you. Every 365 days, we have this opportunity to start anew. How would you like to make a good start for your 2023? I have a few suggestions here. Firstly,...

Watch

Yuan Tze on Money

Take a little longer and watch as Yuan Tze helps us to see more of totality in terms of the role money plays in life.  This is an excerpt from Yuan Tze's 10-day Seeing Your Original Face 2 retreat that took place in France in May 2023, where he focused on two of the...

Who are we protecting? How to truly love and protect your (True)self

In this 28min video Yuan Tze applies how the pattern of Polarized Thinking (right/wrong, good/bad, black/white) can influence the setting of boundaries in life, and helps us to understand the best way to 'protect' ourselves. This is an excerpt from Yuan Tze’s 10-day...

The Pattern of Fixed Expectations

Watch this short video where Yuan Tze talks about the pattern of Fixed Expectations. This is an excerpt from Yuan Tze’s Transforming Patterns for Unconditional Gratitude workshop that took place in 2022, where he spoke about the barriers to experiencing unconditional...

The Importance of Working on Identity

Watch this short video where Yuan Tze helps us to experience what, when we're working on patterns, we should identify with and why it is so important to work on identity and identification when working on patterns.  Join Yuan Tze for his two-part workshop on Identity...

The Pattern of Avoiding & Hiding

Watch this short video where Yuan Tze talks about what's behind the pattern of Avoiding & Hiding. This is an excerpt from Yuan Tze’s Seeing Your Original Face 9-day retreat where he focused on two of the Ten Fundamental Patterns identified by Ren Xue: Avoiding...

Full Moon

Latest Full Moon Message – Identification with the Body

Latest Full Moon Message – Identification with the Body

Our work on identification is ultimately to establish our true identify, that is, the identification with the True Self. This takes place when the True Self can function consistently. Before this happens, the false self is in charge of life. So we can say this shift...

Identification and Information

Identification and Information

Do you remember a time when you felt that there was more to a story than what you were being told? Or when you felt there was a gap between the world you saw and what was portrayed by those around you? These feelings came from a very deep place within yourself, the...

Find Trust in Your Heart

Find Trust in Your Heart

Trust, openness, love, gratitude, and Gongjing (true respect) are natural qualities of the heart. Furthermore, we have the capability of manifesting these qualities without any conditions.That is to say, it is possible not to lose them no matter what happens in life....