Being human, many influences and experiences have molded my mind and heart over the 72 years of my life.

I grew up in a rather turbulent alcohol-influenced environment, went through a career as a fashion model in my teenaged and young adult years, married first at age 16 and then again at age 19. I was divorced for the second time at age 39. That’s when I went into nursing.

Still, there was always a search for deep meaning and real healing. It was a search that included 8 years as a disciple of a “guru”, and then, yoga, macrobiotic, reiki and shiatsu studies.

I tried so hard to find healing for my son who had become an alcoholic. Unfortunately, he only lived to be 41.

Next, I experienced breast cancer, despite my “healthy lifestyle”.

That is when I found Vanessa Lukes, my New Zealand skype Qigong teacher! She listened, undaunted, to my stories about my life and guided me in the Ren Xue Yuan Gong practice, with heartfelt understanding and patience.

I learned to have compassion for myself which I really needed, because I was filled with self-blame and a kind of self hatred. I learned self compassion through the practices of Ling Yuan and Tong Yuan which have been absorbing healing love and compassion into my being.

During my last lesson with Vanessa, she read the meditation on openness while we stood in Di Yuan and when it mentions “the door of my heart”, I had an image I had seen as a child come to mind – of Christ with a great lantern, knocking at the door of the heart.

All the experiences of my life are melting with cleansing and healing tears in the great light of this Qifield, so my heart and mind are becoming clearer and more pure.

My gratitude to Yuan Tze, Melissa and Vanessa and all my Ren Xue family is huge!

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