Dear Ren Xue family,
Today is the Chinese Mid Autumn Festival, or Moon Festival. We would like to take this opportunity to share our best wishes and this full moon message with you. Wishing you and your family health, happiness and growth.
Communication is a way to exchange Qi and information. Effective communication is essential for building heart-based, meaningful relationships. It can promote mutual understanding, strengthen connection and bring nourishment to the parties engaged.
The way we exchange Qi and information with others can take various forms. For example: through the use of verbal or written language, body language, our presence, and the Qifield. The exchange occurs when we engage in actively initiated communication and also when we do not. That is to say, communication is happening all the time. It is not just with the person we are talking to; it is with everything, with ourselves, all forms of life, and the universe.
When it comes to working on communication, the focus is often put on using techniques to improve the skills for the visible aspect of communication. While polishing communication skills can be helpful, what I suggest here is an internal approach. Instead of working on the external expression, we focus on working on our inner state because a healthy state is the foundation for effective communication. What is a healthy state? It consists of two elements: 1) a state of being relaxed calm, natural and unified, and 2) a heart state characterized by the presence of the five essential qualities of the heart (trust, openness, love, gratitude and Gongjing/true respect).
Why is the state we are in so important? It determines the quality of everything we are and everything we do, including how Qi flows, what we say and how we say it, our body language, our attitude, our overall ‘presence’, and the Qifield we carry. The state we are in will always come through. We know how hard it is to speak calmly when we feel angry. Sometimes we wonder how we offend others even though that is not our intention. On the other hand, when we are relaxed and calm, we may find that people are drawn to us and are willing to listen. When we feel true gratitude or Gongjing in our hearts, we normally won’t come across as arrogant. When trust is present, our communication will unlikely be perceived as judgmental or controlling.
If you would like your communication to be constructive for your relationships, keep working on your state. The better you are able to maintain the healthy state, the stronger the foundation for effective communication will be. When you are actively engaged in communication, focus on remaining relaxed and calm and staying in your heart. You may find that in this way your heart and Shen will naturally deliver the most needed information in the manner that is most beneficial for everyone. The interaction will flow well and everything you express will be nourishing for yourself and others. Furthermore, you will inspire others to connect with their own hearts and Shen and experience the healthy state. What is even more amazing is that when you are in this state, even if you are not actively engaged in communication, your presence alone will have the same effect.
I encourage you to take an internal approach to working on communication and see how that can make a difference to your relationships.
Experience this message as a meditation on REN XUE TV
If you would like to learn more from Yuan Tze about building heart-based, meaningful relationships check out our Learn REN XUE website for the Replay of his online workshop about Relationships that was six-part of the Living From the Heart workshop series run in 2021.